Knock on Wood

Welcome back to May’s Monthly Horror Recs where it’s always the time of year to watch scary movies! As a horror fan, it’s always expected of me to be more of a Halloween than a Christmas person, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I absolutely love spooky season, don’t get me wrong, but if I had to choose a single holiday that is dearest to me, it would absolutely be Christmas. It is then of tremendous luck to me, and all the Christmas-loving horror fans, that there are plenty of phenomenal Christmas-themed horror films to dive into this holiday season. You should absolutely check out some of the obvious ones, like Black Christmas or Krampus, but true to the nature of this series, I’m going to try and give you a few of the more obscure ones to provide you with something new and unexpected!

Silent Night (2021)

One of my favorite uses of the Christmas holiday in a horror film is its inherent juxtaposition. Christmas is often a celebration of family, life, joy, and a whole host of wholesome times and emotions, but putting that directly up against darkness, death, and brutality is something that’s always been emotionally provocative to me. Rarely has a film dealt with this as directly as this one. Its world is set up in pretty vague terms (that’s a compliment), but the point is that everyone knows that tonight they will die a painful and slow death via yellow disease tornado; however, they can partially circumvent the slow and painful part by taking a government-issued death pill that will take their lives quick and painlessly. The movie follows a long-standing group of friends on the final night of their lives as they celebrate their final Christmas. The drama that comes from this is both irreverently funny and dramatic as writer/director Camille Griffin guides each character through a subtle and layered arc where they must accept their fates in whichever way they choose. It mostly plays out on three layers, a surface level of dark/dry British humor, dramatic undertones that permeate and boil over as the film continues, and a foundation of pure existential dread and horror. It’s admittedly not the most blatantly horrifying in an experiential sense, but if you get on the movie’s level it’ll get under your skin before you realize it. By the end, you’ll be sucked into the horrifying darkness from which its concept is born.

Watch it on Hoopla, Philo, AMC+

The Advent Calendar (2021)

If the idea of a haunted Advent Calendar with deadly and unknown consequences as the days roll by sounds fun to you, then boy, do I have a treat for you! This movie is great by being exactly what it says on the tin. It is truly a joy to see what fun and unexpected turns lie under each passing day from this eerily presented antique advent calendar. Which isn’t to say it doesn’t take itself seriously – quite the contrary. There’s a real weight to it. The arc of the protagonist, Eva, a now paraplegic ex-dancer struggling to find direction and purpose in life, is set up very earnestly. You get to know her and feel for her very deeply as a person, setting up a wonderful and unique final girl type character that really surprised me. Each of the doors gives her something or takes something away, it doesn’t necessarily need to be negative. You cheer and are even uplifted by some of the supernatural events behind some of the doors, but when it’s bad, it’s very bad. It successfully throws you on a downward spiral that is both psychologically twisted and emotionally fraught. My favorite aspect of it is that you don’t even fully realize how much fun you’re having until the whole thing is over. I remember being so excited to recommend this to people when it was over, and that feeling is still going strong.

Watch it on Hoopla, Philo, Shudder, AMC+

Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)

It’s extremely rare for me to get the chance to recommend a true horror musical, and not only that, but a truly excellent zombie film as well. Add the Christmas atmosphere to that and you have more than a winning formula for me. Truth be told, I could write three articles worth of material for this movie alone. This is easily a top 50 horror, zombie, musical, and Christmas film in my personal pantheon. I’ve loved it since the moment I first saw it a few years ago, and it’s only grown with every rewatch in the years since then. The music is truly a mainstay in my musical rotation, and not just at Christmastime. If I need a pick-me-up, I throw on my personal favorite, “Turning My Life Around.” there’s a cheeky and horny little Santa love-letter in “It’s That Time of Year,” and “Soldier At War” is a true banger any good musical would die for. The film centers around a group of seniors about to graduate from school. They’re reaching that critical time and transitional period in their lives where they must sit down and make those decisions that will determine their path for the rest of their lives…and then the zombie apocalypse happens. It starts with lightheartedness and fun that characterizes the beginning acts of the film, and it doesn’t overplay its drama too much. But it doesn’t stay there at all. If there is a horror subgenre most accustomed to creating metaphorical and hard-hitting downer progressions and endings, it’s the zombie film, and this one is no different. As it progresses, it starts really dialing up the emotion in a way I never expected going in the first time. The heaviness in the final act makes you appreciate the joy and happiness they did feel in that first act way more, this makes it ripe for continuously good rewatches, but it also makes the zombie apocalypse metaphor of it being the literal death of childhood into adulthood feel that much more resonant and hit that much harder. I really could go on and on about this movie. Any horror, musical, or Christmas movie fan who appreciates the weirder sides of all those things should make this a must-watch.

Watch it on Prime Video, the Roku Channel, Hoopla

It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)

One of my favorite recent horror micro-trends is the “what if we turned (blank) into a horror movie?” trend. Freaky Friday became Freaky, Groundhog Day became Happy Death Day, and so on. So, what if we turned one of the most incredibly beloved and critically praised films of all time, It’s a Wonderful Life, into a Hallmark-inspired, openly queer Christmas slasher? If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, it’s probably not up your alley! For those willing to fall into this specific niche, like me, there is so much gold to be found. Its take on the original film’s premise is transformative, but still recognizable in its frame. A teenage girl is sent to a world in which she was never born, only to realize that her life mattered more than she ever could’ve realized. Maybe she’ll even get a wonderful quirky girlfriend along the way, too! It’s full of clichés and delightful Christmas coziness. I’ve only watched this for two consecutive Christmas seasons thus far, and I hope to watch it for many more. One of the things that makes It’s a Wonderful Life so beloved is its life-affirming message about each person mattering and to never take life for granted. I won’t claim that this movie reaches those heights by any stretch, but it tackles those ideas on its own terms, and with sincerity. It really works for me, and by the end I get genuinely emotional. On top of all that, you have a phenomenal killer design, a perfectly cast Justin Long that you just love to hate, and queer representation that is so welcome in the world right now.

Watch it on Shudder, Hulu, Philo, Plex, AMC+

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation/Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1990-1991)

Merry Christmas! The final entry of the year is two recommendations for the price of one! I know it’s weird having a fourth and fifth film as the recommendations and not the first three, but there are a few reasons for that. I have a love of sorts for the first movie, but while there are salvageable ideas present, it is, for the most part, not a good movie. The second is one of the best so bad it’s good movies ever made, and is far more fun than just the iconic “GARBAGE DAY!” meme would lead you to believe. The third one is, unfortunately, boring and awful. All those three follow, however loosely, the same general storyline and thread of either Billy Chapman or Ricky Caldwell as a standard traumatized Christmas killer slicing up those who they deem “naughty.” After the extreme downward trend of those three, it’s miraculous that they brought it back like they did with these two entries. Phenomenal and cult-favorite horror director, Brian Yuzna, comes into the fourth film with a completely disconnected idea and an absolute wild ride. There are witches, there are bugs, and even a thematically interesting story with one of the most underrated final girls of all time. The fifth is another disconnected story that is slightly more mysterious in nature but is essentially a Christmas-themed take on Pinocchio. Mickey Rooney hams it up big time, and the film has one of the most truly bizarre and fun final acts I’ve seen in any Christmas-themed horror movie. These are a hard sell, I know, but they are truly worth your time. It’s like this little Christmas horror franchise that could, for a brief and beautiful window, fulfill John Carpenter’s initial dream for what he wanted the Halloween films to be. I genuinely wish there were more films like these.

Watch it on Tubi, Plex, Fandango at Home