Welcome to Week 10 of the Knock on Wood Movie Fantasy League dispatch. Every week (more or less), we’ll bring you a recap of the past weekend’s box office, alongside an overview of the new release films and an updated leaderboard, complete with full teams and points!
As I recover from a few days of an energy-sapping head cold, I find myself reflecting on just how quickly and drastically the theatrical landscape is changing, especially in terms of performance expectations. We went from Netflix executives loudly proclaiming that “theatrical is dead!” and “we will never work with directors who want their movies in theaters (except if they’re Greta Gerwig or Guillermo del Toro or Rian Johnson, teehee)” to two small-budget horror flicks savaging Star Wars, one of the most reliable pop culture properties, at the box office day after day, week after week. We might have said Obsession was an anomaly, but then Backrooms came along shortly afterward and proved that there is not only an appetite for fresh voices, but also unique storytelling and exciting new perspectives. Hopefully, the general underperformance of Mandalorian and Grogu showcases the need to not just rely on historic franchises, but to put genuine effort into sharpening the quality; the “content-ization” of these IPs are not sustainable in the way the studios undoubtedly hope. Original films are here to stay, and it’s about time we stopped treating these overachievers as pure surprises, and instead celebrate them as the future of filmgoing.
This week’s domestic box office continues to climb, though incrementally, with the two major new releases (Scary Movie and Masters of the Universe) at the top, and horror hits Backrooms and Obsession trailing close behind. Backrooms dropped almost 68% this week, a normal drop considering its release scale, and while Obsession also dropped, it only did so an incredible 7.3%. The run continues! The Mandalorian and Grogu trailed even further behind, dropping halfway down to #6, while Michael, The Devil Wears Prada 2, Pressure, and The Sheep Detectives continued to stand their ground in the top ten.
The highest-profile new release of the weekend (and the winner of the domestic box office) is Scary Movie, the sixth film in the now twenty-six-year-old franchise, and the triumphant return of the Wayans Brothers to the series that they originated back in 2000. It’s a return to the films’ signature oddball, scattered parody comedy, which once again feels more random than funny; this time, the series lampoons the concept of legacy sequels, with additional shots taken at recent hits Weapons, Sinners, Longlegs, Final Destination: Bloodlines, Get Out, and K-Pop Demon Hunters, of all things. It would seem that the general audience disagrees with my assessment, though, because Scary Movie made $54.3 million domestically, by far the best of the franchise so far. A sequel is all but guaranteed, and if anything, this is a good thing for the future of the theatrical comedy – it proves an interest remains.
Also in theaters is Masters of the Universe, the latest attempt at reviving a Mattel-branded toy line on the big screen. We’re not about purse-clutching here at Knock on Wood, but I will say that this movie did cost about $200 million to make, and it’s practically guaranteed to bomb with about $29.4 earned in its opening weekend. Which is a shame, because the movie is actually very good! Maybe it boils down to my lack of relationship with the mythology, but my overall enjoyment of Masters of the Universe felt pure, like the film was tugging at heartstrings and activating nostalgia I didn’t even know I had. It stands very well on its own, almost always moving, joking, and kicking ass – an endearingly hokey combination of 2010s IP mania and 2000s camp. And at least all of its exorbitant budget is actually on-screen!
Backrooms and Power Ballad netted a respectable 60 and 50 critical points this week, respectively, which significantly boosted their score values but also pale in comparison to critical showings from the past few weeks (especially when it comes to Obsession and Tuner).
Check out our leaderboard here. For the first time, every player has points on the board! It’s only uphill from here. For the most up-to-date scoring on each movie, check out this spreadsheet. Additionally, I’ve made a Letterboxd list of every film chosen by our players for the Fantasy League. You can view that anytime here.
Next week (honestly, since this dispatch is incredibly late, these films actually open today), one of the greatest filmmakers of all time returns to the big screen for the first time in four years…that’s right, Adam Shankman is back with Stop! That! Train! A light spin-off of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the film follows two stewardesses (played by drag queens Ginger Minj and Jujubee) working to prevent a disastrous train crash. Oh, and some guy named Steven Spielberg made an alien movie called Disclosure Day. That’s happening, too, I guess.
As a reminder, submissions for the MFL are now closed. Thank you all for playing, and I am very much looking forward to seeing the board change every which way over the next few months! Please let us know if you have any feedback, and don’t forget to come back here next week for a recap and the updated leaderboard!
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